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 To trust a woman

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Fixed Cross
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PostSubject: To trust a woman   Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:37 pm

Ive come to the conclusion that "a man" (basically, I qua man) can only afford to trust one woman at a time. And this woman must be the women that gives herself to me. I don't think woman is capable of being trustworthy for the sake of it. She has no mind of such consistency - what I can trust a woman with is her feelings, and if these feelings run toward me and my satisfaction, spiritually and physically in love, then this is worth the highest of all trust, as high as the trust between a man and his god, which exceeds his trust in himself; trust in a value higher than himself in his own terms.

This means that often a man will not be able to trust any woman. I do not think one can trust ones mother, on general principle. Of course one must love ones mother and honor her, and be trustworthy to her, but one can never know her. You cant know the woman that knew you since you were nothing. She can never look at you as an equal, she can never fully submit to your will, not in equality. One has to overcome ones mother, and in this way one rewards her, and puts her heart at ease. But this must be done outside of her sphere of trust - generally with another woman.

As a man I can trust many men. I understand them, and can predict their behavior to not cross through certain limits. If Ive seen a man repeatedly prove himself noble, I trust that man, and such trust has never been betrayed. I know at least 5 such men, and I know I'll always be able to trust them. But this trust means something different from the trust I give a woman. I don't abandon myself to men, I don't give myself in their hands, I don't take their lives in mine. To trust a woman means to let go of all expectations, and put all trust in trust itself.

In this way, the universe of ones values is overturned. All things that were trusted out of tradition, custom, they become old and grey and fall apart like ashes. The birth of a child or a philosophy is a natural result.

Trust for its own sake -
much like Depth for its own sake.

 

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PostSubject: Re: To trust a woman   Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:49 pm

Having been married and divorced three times I likely wont have much to say in this thread.
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PostSubject: Re: To trust a woman   Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:58 pm

Since you're here, Id still like to ask you a question.
Did any of these women merit your trust at one point, and did you gain anything in your heart or mind from trusting her?

My point is perhaps also about trust itself, about what it can do for us, even beyond the situation we find ourselves in with one we trust.

In fact, to trust a woman as Ive said, may very well mean that ones trust includes all sorts of untrustworthiness. To trust in a womans duplicity, to trust her not despite of it, but with it -

Come to think, Id never want to be with a woman behind whose eyes I didn't suspect a whole web of intrigue. It's that which in her reflects life, as directly as a lions growl reflects it.

 

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PostSubject: Re: To trust a woman   Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:42 pm

Fixed Cross wrote:
Since you're here, Id still like to ask you a question.
Did any of these women merit your trust at one point, and did you gain anything in your heart or mind from trusting her?

That happened with the third one. She never questioned me and I never questioned her. Sad thing was that she became an introvert and I was left out of her imaginary world. No reason to remain together.

Yes, if trust is there, there will be no reason for questions regarding trust. One less trouble on the mind.
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PostSubject: Re: To trust a woman   Sat Apr 29, 2017 4:14 pm

Fixed Cross


[quoteAs a man I can trust many men. I understand them, and can predict their behavior to not cross through certain limits. If Ive seen a man repeatedly prove himself noble, I trust that man, and such trust has never been betrayed. I know at least 5 such men, and I know I'll always be able to trust them. But this trust means something different from the trust I give a woman. I don't abandon myself to men, I don't give myself in their hands, [/quote]

Couldn't you say in a sense that you have "abandoned" yourself to these male friends of yours, based on their behavior in the past or so far?

Quote :
I don't take their lives in mine. and put all trust in trust itself.

How does one put all trust in "trust" itself?

Quote :
To trust a woman means to let go of all expectations,

I have learned that it is not an easy thing to let go of all expectations. It might even be lying to one's self.
Is that trust then? Sounds more like futility to me. lol

Quote :
In this way, the universe of ones values is overturned. All things that were trusted out of tradition, custom, they become old and grey and fall apart like ashes. The birth of a child or a philosophy is a natural result.

You mean you begin to see things with different "eyes" you become renewed  and changed.

Quote :
Trust for its own sake -
much like Depth for its own sake.

Is that even possible?

 

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Each of our lives is a part of the lengthy process of the universe gradually waking up and becoming aware of itself.


Philosophy is the childhood of the intellect, and a culture that tries to skip it will never grow up."


"If I thought that everything I did was determined by my circumstancse and my psychological condition, I would feel trapped."

Thomas Nagel
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PostSubject: Re: To trust a woman   Sat Apr 29, 2017 5:02 pm

Good day Arc, nice to see this thread revived. I accidentally edited your post instead of quoting it, no content was lost as I put it back together but some form may have, if so I apologize.

Quote :
Fixed Cross


Quote :
As a man I can trust many men. I understand them, and can predict their behavior to not cross through certain limits. If Ive seen a man repeatedly prove himself noble, I trust that man, and such trust has never been betrayed. I know at least 5 such men, and I know I'll always be able to trust them. But this trust means something different from the trust I give a woman. I don't abandon myself to men, I don't give myself in their hands,

Couldn't you say in a sense that you have "abandoned" yourself to these male friends of yours, based on their behavior in the past or so far?

Parodites, Capable, Sauwelios and Pezer are my friends that you know, and none of them has ever not merited my friendship, and all of them contributed to my happiness significantly. Someone who doesn't have an 11th house Aquarius Sun wouldn't feel this as powerfully perhaps, and someone with less of a Leo influence might not feel the need to exult it as much.

Quote :
Quote :
I don't take their lives in mine. and put all trust in trust itself.

How does one put all trust in "trust" itself?

I must have meant something but I cant recall what it was.
Ah - I meant that if one cant trust at all, then one... can trust no one. If you cant trust that trust is ultimately validated, then you cant trust at all.

Hence, I suppose, God. The image of the humans trust in trust, her faith in the justification of her trust.

Quote :
Quote :
To trust a woman means to let go of all expectations,

I have learned that it is not an easy thing to let go of all expectations. It might even be lying to one's self.
Is that trust then? Sounds more like futility to me. lol

Or a catharsis.

Quote :
Quote :
In this way, the universe of ones values is overturned. All things that were trusted out of tradition, custom, they become old and grey and fall apart like ashes. The birth of a child or a philosophy is a natural result.

You mean you begin to see things with different "eyes" you become renewed  and changed.

Yes, veils of pale shadows and spider webs fell away from before my eyes.

Recently, Ive been at a reception of Dutch people. I was reminded instantly of the veil.

Quote :
Quote :
Trust for its own sake -
much like Depth for its own sake.

Is that even possible?

At a cost.

 

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" The strong do what they can do and the weak accept what they have to accept. "
- Thucydides
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