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Have to go out for a swim. Too clammy today, wash off the irritations of the news etcetera.

We haven't had rain in over a month. Normally we get rain every two or three days.

Ill be back

Go for it man, I got your back.

That worked. I also learn to swim very well. Even started practicing butterfly stroke. Thats difficult.
This water helps me do a bit more than surviving here. I am dangerously tempted to find short ways out.

But Im going to stick with the program; not again go on that road of trying to find a place in Europe. Id already discovered that there is no better place than home on the continent. I already found my geographic goals, Montreal, the US, and hopeful some day too, a nice place on a beach in Venezuela.

Motherfucker if twenty years from now I have not been able to offer you a nice place like that, I will have failed miserably.

I know. But its good to hear you say it.

Ive got one of these pull-up bars again that I had in Rosemont. This is the best exercise thing ever, just lifting your whole weight with your arms.

My brother opines the same.

I find it a little offensive. That my strength should so directly be brought to bear on my weight.

Hahahaha
okay, that sounds aristocratic enough to accept it.

So what of it, as strength is brought to bear upon weight, both increase?

I just said to myself "we hebben geeneens wc-eend! Hoe moet je leven zonder wc-eend?" Meaning we dont even have wc-duck. How should one live without wc-duck? Then I realized how weird it is that since I was little, Ive know the product that cleans the toilet, as wc-eend, toilet-duck. How neat, awesome of culture, that the product wc-eend never changed its name in over 30 years. WC-Eend.

Warriors increase their strength and weight by bringing one to bear upon the other. Lords must take their strength and weight for granted, as it would be irresponsible to doubt or alter them by purpose with so much depending on them.

I believe a king can be either. Probably the warrior king is much more magnetic for me and all others. But the lord is always waiting, even in love, for the warrior to fall.

The warrior makes himself. The lord is made by the world. Which is possibly made by warriors, but also by Gods and nature and the unfathomable. All of these forces the warrior trains himself to contend with. The lord is a celebration, the warrior part of what is celebrated.

And the lord, as correspondence with (his) warriors, celebrates war.

This is part of lordship, to know how to celebrate, and what one celebrates is always power.

This is the enigma of the duty of contradiction.

The magnitude of the Orn Broken style is still only dawning on me, as Im just coming out of the first wave of transformation that it caused.

Video is just a thickening of the thread of time, it makes things go slower, wind into themselves. We think it is progress but it is the opposite, stagnation. It creates a new word through still water pestilence which is the culture we are in. It will move closer and closer, over hundreds of years, to a psychedelic singularity, the use of which will only prove conditionally to what it needs to do to survive - in its decadent brilliance it will develop the means to keep itself growing - by the end of it the mind of mankind will have become a plant. Not meaning braindead but rather natural, adapted to its own power. It will be sane and we are ushering the ship out of the gates, to traverse that great sea of bliss and terror at the end of which the world begins.

On the subject, I'm realizing that throwing magic back at the witch is what I did, for the first time ever, by making the invitation and sticking by it through the response.

Finally, after so many years, back in the world of men.

Much is still not clear. But I definetly feel a power surge.

Nothing is certain, and only taste is constant. And it's only constant in its existence.

when i threw magic back at a witch, she ran screaming.

Lol. Yes yes. You are a far more intense version of me. We understand.

In seriousness, maybe you were aware of what was happening when you did that or maybe you were not, but I had been enchanted the better part of my life. Only balls led me to break out. And in retrospect, it was a fling back. Of magic.

Ok that's not all of the truth. I prefer the world of women, I will go back to it and die there. But first I will reform the world of men.

we are the same, then

Loyalty is the only quality in a person that I trust.
Loyalty to a pet, for example, is something I admire.

I know that loyalty has an element of dependence to it.
But it is only the dependence of a sun to its orbit around a black hole. A dependence on existence itself.

This is vo, the real difficulty of it.

The young mind of a man wants to be free to itself, which means separate of the conditions that sustain it, which means free of itself.

Learning to think means to overcome this self-annihilating instinct; genius is required, but more than that, heart - balls too of course. But heart is the part that wills the sacrifice of the stupid to the wise, that can endure the pain that needs to be enhanced, as Capable put it.

The story goes that Nietzsche received the vision of the Will to Power in a thunderstorm, seeing on the top of a hill a man slaying a goat.

Hmm. I managed to get into my hotmail account after over 10 years, it turns out it had turned to outlook and purged all the files as early as 2012. Sad.... it was my oldest account.

I remember the day I myself ran into that reality.

There is only one thing left to do.