Evolutionary explanations

To record some of the more interesting evolutionary explanations that we come across.

Right handedness: mothers tend to hold their infant babies in their left arms, because this brings the baby into contact with the mother’s heartbeat. This is somehow important for the baby. For example, study in hospitals showed that newborn babies exposed to the sound of a heartbeat cry about half as much as those not exposed to the sound.

Therefore the mothers tended to hold the baby in the left arm thus freeing the right hand to do things, and over time right handedness was encoded generically. Further evidence for this is that even left handed mothers hold their infant babies in their left arm 78% of the time.

Tits and ass; and lips: breasts are not necessary for lactating. But the female ass is a sexual attraction to males. Hereford the breasts genetically began to copy the ass in order to increase a woman’s sexual attractiveness to men, a kind of “second ass”.

Likewise the red and full lips of our species are genetic copies of the female vagina. No wonder women like to wear lipstick, it increases the potency of the sexual attraction for men.

Perhaps the most fucked up example, the “shovel” at the end of the penis: is in fact a literal shovel designed to scoop out competing semen while a man is fucking a woman, because group sex and gang rape were relatively common in human history. This gave the male an edge (no pun intended) in sex because he could scoop out some of the semen from previous men who fucked that woman. Thus this shape of the end of the penis was selected for.