To the pornography video you made, good point about the absence of men in porn. I wonder if this is because most consumers of porn are male and thus are there primarily to watch the woman. But another idea is that porn pushes a male-only view of sexuality whereby the female personality is tied to her sexual desirability yet the male sexuality is not tied to his sexual desirability, which would be the case from the perspective of the average man who doesn't really think about himself and his role or what he offers to a woman who finds him attractive. But that's also not quite right, because men know how to attract a woman, at least basically; so maybe it's just because porn is made by men and for male consumption that the male personality/role is collapsed to mere thrusting, while the woman's role still involves some of display of her personality and character. Some porn features more of this in the women, some less.
The issue of female power to submit is interesting. Women have this sexual power over men, and it is the power to submit physically and emotionally to a man in sex, but by doing that the women gets the man to submit to her submission. She "controls" the fact that he has submitted to her by herself offering herself up as submission.